Before we started our wait for the doctor this time around I was handed a pamphlet entitled, "Patient Safety: A guide to Preventing Falls", in which there was a section entitled, "Top Ten Quick Tips to Reduce Your Risk of Falls in Outpatient Areas and at Home". (Seems to exclude public places like grocery stores) Being us (Lisa and I) as we sat there we started to come up with ten... alternative methods for avoiding falls. We thought we would share with you. So without further ado: "Ten Tips to Avert the Risk of Falling":
1. Don't Stand Up (IE: Don't get off the couch, or out of bed. Whirling Dervishes are out.)
2. Avoid Angry Reindeer (I'll explain this one sometime this week, suffice to say we both had tears in our eyes over this.)
3. Become Royalty (And be carried everywhere, no more being "pushed" around in a wheelchair, it's a palanquin for you everywhere you go.)
4. Use a jet pack (The compressed air type, jet fuel indoors can be... flammable.)
5. Call it Autumn (If you don't get it, wait for it...)
6. Ignore Gravity (You can't fall, if, well, you CAN'T fall.)
7. Don't Fall
8. Lay off the drugs (That make you dizzy)
9. Eat (lack of food makes one dizzy)
10. Don't age past 50
These are, of course, all in jest, please don't take them seriously. (As much as possible) We also determined from the pamphlet that Lisa is a greater fall risk than I am.
~B.
#6 - You can't ignore. Gravity, it's the law!
ReplyDeleteOkay, now you've got to explain the angry reindeer!
ReplyDelete