Sunday, April 21

Do you ever have one of those moments where you realize that you have changed? That something in you is dramatically different from the way YOU used to be? With that change you have to re-evaluate the friendships you have? The reasons you have them? Or at least rethink the reason / angle of the friendship? Or maybe the change causes you to view someone in a new light.

I think it's changes like those that take us further and further away from childhood and into adult life. The realizations that something in you has changed and you're not the same. There is a certain loss that comes with that change as well. Somehow you're more "grown up" now. The way you used to be is now something you can never really gain back. Oh sure you can pretend, but the truth eventually comes floating to the top.

The dreams of the child in the sandbox slowly fade into "issues" of "real" life.

And so we have children, create someone else who will eventually come to think that the dreams of the sandbox mean nothin in the long run and worry about "real" life issues.

I can't say I'm afraid of change. Change helps me to become more solid in who I am. I am afraid of what the change leaves behind it. Those things that are no longer acceptable in the new area. Like a child still wanting his blanket when he's 13. It's just not something that you can take with you, and you have to move on. But generally with the loss of something comes something grander. The child turns in his blanket for a chance to see more of the world. But it is so much easier to hang onto that which you know...



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