Tuesday, January 12


I am so tired. Tired of just about everything. I am especially tired of pulling myself out of the hole that is chemo every 2-3 weeks. 9 to 10 more months of this? Where can I get off? Maybe next time they can put me into a drug induced coma for 8 days following chemo just to get it over with.

I went down stairs to find lunch and barely had enough energy to get myself upstairs again. Plus trying to keep myself hydrated and find something my body thinks is editable is taking a lot of energy. I need calories because 133 pounds is not a safe weight to be at.

Maybe I can work out a deal with a pizza place to deliver pizza at lunchtime every day. My guess is my body probably wouldn't like that too much either.

I'm sorry, I am really frustrated and there isn't really anything I can do about it.



  1. I'm with you, Ben. It was good to see you yesterday and catch up. I'm praying for your stamina and that you find the right food to keep you healthy.

  2. Praying for you!!! I've been inspired by the 70's radical worship artist, Keith Green lately. As hokey as his music is, the lyrics are helpful when I am trying to get cheery and look towards God and preparing for heaven. I'll eat a few pizza's for ya. Hang in there!

  3. Still praying for you too, Ben.

  4. Sheesh...I feel old. I saw Keith Green in concert before he was even a "known" performer. Bare feet. Gotta' love him. Thinking about Keith Green, the song that has the chorus lyrics, "When I hear the praises start, My child, I wanna rain upon you blessings that will fill your heart, My child, I see no stain upon you, because you are My child and you know Me. To Me you're only holy. Nothing that you've done remains, only what you've done for Me."

    Great lyrics.


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