I am tired of being tired as often as I am. If I had planned things I would have been at OC today helping with a domain migration that has been a year plus in the planning. But today I am at home completely worn out from low potassium and magnesium counts. My pain level hasn't disappeared, but it has gone down to a level that I can easily ignore most of the time.
But I find myself wondering, as I have planned none of this cancer stuff, and it looks like I'm going to be in this battle for another 9 months at least, I wonder what's next? I pray daily that God will make this cancer disappear, and I know many of you are praying the same thing. Here we are in February, with looking at something like October before chemo is over. I am standing at the foothills with what I have gone through already and I am looking up towards the peak and I do not know if I will see the summit. And then when I get there are there more mountains behind? Will I ever kick this? My strength is not sufficient to hold me out for more than a couple years of this. I must rely on God's strength for my solutions, but I don't know how much of this, how long, I want to battle this.
This last week was a lot to handle, and I am torn down.
~B.