Raw

Not everything is coming up sunshine and daisy's here in Houston. There have been a lot of things as of late that I have been frustrated by, and chief among them is my lack of ability to swallow a pill. At first it wasn't too tricky, I'd do it first thing in the morning before I was awake and then that stopped working. I end up choking on the thing almost every time now. Sometimes it goes down, other times it doesn't. I think the thing that kind of scares me is that this isn't the only thing I have trouble with swallowing. Some foods don't really go down very easily anymore either. I had a massive coughing fit yesterday over some carrot. They said this could be a possible side effect of my tumors growing.

Another frustration is my blood sugar levels. It looks like I am slowly creeping in type two diabetes at the moment, which is going to mean way more self sticking than I ever wanted to get into.

Then there is the upcoming scan. Combined with paragraph number one I'm kind of not sure if this trial is working or not. I feel better as a whole, but between the choking, the high cholesterol and the blood sugar I really don't know. I also haven't gained any weight since behing here in Houston.

Then physical stuff aside there are the social aspects of this. Here we are in Houston, we don't know if we are staying or going, and we have friends in Colorado, we have Friends and Family all over Seattle. I'm stuck pretty close to Houston due to my treatments and my inability to fly.

I'm frustrated because I don't know what is going on here.

~B.