Sunday, September 19

Chasing the Wind

Being sick really puts me back a few weeks health wise. I've pretty much spent everyday since Thursday in bed trying not to cough my lungs up. (And going up and down the stairs winds me something fierce right now) As I have been sitting around trying to kill time, letting my body heal, my mind (unlike with chemo) has been active and wants to engage in something. To kind of "dull" the time I've been going through the Netflix "watch online" and watching various things. Yesterday I was really thinking about the amount of time I have lain in bed. Not like I don't have good reason or something, I'm not chill'n because I am lazy, I'm chill'n because my immune system needs ALL the help it can get, and exhausting myself won't help me in the long run. However, I feel like since my mind is almost back to being as sharp as it used to be that I should be doing something with it more productive than watching the History channel on Netflix for six hours a day.

This feeling was compounded today as I staid home from church and I was listening to one of my favorite pastors, Jonathan Alexander from Northshore Baptist in Bothell, and his sermon, Chasing the Wind. Seems like it's not just me then, I think God might be trying to tell me something.

Over the two years or more of accumulated time I have spent battling cancer and sitting in a bed or couch I have found myself wondering what else I could be doing. But at the same time with chemo-brain my attention span was shorter than a chihuahua and just about as shaky. What am I supposed to do with that? Now the change is that while I am trying to recover from things my mind is open and free to roam and think. I don't have any answers yet, but I think I'm getting there. Guess you'll just need to stay tuned. I would appreciate prayers in the meantime... not just for healing but for how I am able to spend my time.



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