Peace Like the Stars

Thank you so much for your encouragement lately.  My soul the past few days has been quiet and calm, unlike the restlessness before.  This level of peace came through a difficult but important conversation with God, and also I believe through all of your prayers.

Retelling a conversation with God is complicated, because like someone quoting a favorite movie or referencing an inside joke, almost everything that is said has a lot of back-story.  For example, when I said "But God, I don't understand!" and He said "And you like to understand, don't you," it was in a wry voice.  It acknowledged my habit as a child of literally not believing in many things I couldn't see even when my mother assured me they were real (germs, etc), and that Facts are one of my favorite kinds of entertainment.  God basically told me that by depending on my understanding, I was being a silly, prideful child again (in a very kind way).

The gist was that I am still feeling hurt by Ben's death and not trusting God about it.  I needed to be reminded: God has Ben with Him.  Heaven is infinitely wonderful, and Ben is healed and happy there.  God still has things for the rest of us to do on earth, and even though so many things are clouded, God gives his followers His great and precious promises to see.  The last imagery came from being outside in the middle of the night, when some low clouds started to block the stars.  Praise to God that He has given me the faith to believe these things again!

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Romans 5:1