No Time Like The

December.  It was a super stressful month for me (and usually, it isn't).  Like not eating or sleeping enough stressful.  I will tell you one of the reasons why.

(Other reasons are withheld for the same reason I haven't been blogging much lately.  My joys and fears of late have been taken up with work and relationships.  Neither of which are appropriate subjects for the transparent style this blog is known for.  Though you can certainly ask me in person.)

Every couple has their strengths and weaknesses, and I - immodestly but accurately - can claim that when it came to planning and execution Ben and I killed it.  "Go Team Morrell!" we'd fist bump after a successful themed party, drive across Texas or expertly handled visit to the ER. Seriously, we got really good at working the hospital system.  Having joint planning skills really was a God-thing, because we moved about once a year and dealt with a lot of paperwork.  Ben would come in high and fearless, swinging in broad strokes, I'd follow low, filling in the gaps.  He was resourceful, I was persistent.  BAM!  POW!

This year, it was almost December, and I (a self-proclaimed control freak) was puzzled to realize that I didn't have any Christmas presents.  Purchased, created, or imagined.  Cue mild panic. 

The trouble is that I thought I had fully adjusted to singleness.  But it turns out that when it comes to Big Changes and Projects, I'm still part of team that's missing half its members. 

Over our years together, Christmas presents became a production that started in the Spring.  Like this: Ben would decide that we should create our own line of food products.  I started the process of talking him down to just dried fruit, beef jerky, and scone mix.  Ben researched and purchased a dehydrator; I went berry-picking and looked for sales on ripe mangoes.  There were spreadsheets and timelines and Ben made a dozen passes at a name which ended up "Morredibles".  I found powdered heavy cream on a molecular gastronomy website and experimented.  Our vacuum sealer got overheated easily, but in the end we had gift baskets of goodies for family and a few friends.

The thing is, that these kinds of projects aren't very attractive to me solo - and that's okay.  Another thing is that I need to find a trigger to start planning, since in the past Ben always nudged me along.  I need to find my own style.  This year turned out well enough.  I didn't give a lot of presents, but I did send my Grandparents homemade cards and actually found something meaningful for my Dad.  My parents-in-law's present is a project still in process (sorry, Paul and Jenifer!) but everything else was ready on schedule.

Thank you for your support and prayers.  Surprisingly, I still have no horror stories about people saying the wrong thing to comfort me.  So either I'm obtuse or you all have acted wisely (and I lean toward the second).  Cheers for this New Year!