There were some complications with getting the files the surgeon needed to view but a date has been set for my surgery. November 26th is the "big day" and I'll be looking at at least a 6 hour surgery in the "good old fashioned" sense where they open me up and take stuff out.
It was really hard today to talk with the surgeon, he was far from gentle and I came out of it a little freaked out. He hasn't seen any of the scans as of yet so he couldn't say anything to my case specifically but I'll be seeing him again before the surgery.
Things keep piling up with this cancer and it all feel pretty surreal to me. I don't feel sick, is this really happening to me? Lisa reminded me, and in a dazed kind of way I have been hanging onto it, that just because I was reminded how serious my condition was today it doesn't change any of the promises God has given me. This is rough, and really tough at time and in certain places, but I HAVE to cling to God in this. I have nothing else. My mortality is very obviously in God's hands, and as long as He gives me life I will keep fighting for it.
I am typing now because I don't really feel like talking to anyone. I feel fragile, like I might break or something.
~B.
Here is what the Lord told me yesterday morning (I'd forgotten until 5 a.m. this morning when He reminded me):
ReplyDelete"God (and God alone) is our refuge and strength,
Abundantly available for help in time of trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.
There is a River who streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High. (The River is Jesus; we are part of the city of God, His church, His holy dwelling place; the streams are His word to us)
God is in the midst of her (the city of God), she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold...
'Let go, relax, cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be be exalted in the earth.'
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold." (Ps. 46:1-7,10,11)
He is with you.
Love,
Mom
Hi Ben!
ReplyDeleteAs we are travelling across this great country of ours, still continue to remember you and Lisa and pray for you every night. We are in Atlanta, GA visiting Great Stone Mountain (The Mt. Rushmore of the South). We LOVE you!
Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
Claire, Shon, Nathaniel, Karen and Ben Katzenberger
Ben,
ReplyDeleteI read this and immediately thought of you.
"You say to me, Lord,"My grace is sufficient for you,for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, swo that Your power may rest on me.(2 Corinthians 12:9) This came from a prayer card from Beth Moore. I am praying this for you - may you feel His strength now. Keep up the good fight..