A tablespoon of hope

Well, I have to admit I was kind of expecting to hear something not very easy to handle this morning, but I wasn't sure. I remained hopeful, but still waiting is stressful.

The doctor came in and pulled up the PET scans. He told us after he had seen what my platelets were at last week he had expected to see the cancer in my bones as well as the other places. Good news on that front: There are only 4 tumors. Three under my sternum (smallish) and then a fairly large one around my trachea and behind my heart. Which makes it very, very difficult to operate on. However the good news is that there are only 4, and they are in the same place that we thought they would be in. There wasn't anything hidden somewhere else (like inside my bones).

Some additional good news is that the doctor is going to try a lighter chemo regime on me as well. (Mainly because my platelets are a lot lower than he would like them to be.) I'll get two rounds of this type of chemo and come back here for more scans and a prognosis.

The good news about this "new" type of chemo is "outpatient" which means I don't need to spend days and nights in the hospital getting this stuff pumped into my body. I get to go in and spend about 3 hours a day getting the stuff pumped into me and then I go home. Which is very much nicer than staying in the hospital for 120 hours straight.

So, after 2 rounds of this (about 6 weeks) I will come back here for scans and what-not. I think the thing that makes me excited about this is that the doctor was very optimistic. Last week when we met with him he pretty much told me 2 to 3 years is what I could expect life-span wise. This time he told me that if the cancer responds to the chemo he can actually see me kicking this permanently.

So here's how we need to pray: 1. That the chemo is very effective to shrinking the tumors. 2. My health would stay... well healthy, so my body can continue to take this stuff. 3. Pray for wisdom for all my oncologists (Dr. Dax and Dr. Ludwig). 4. That they would both be absolutely amazed by what God does through me and in me.

Also, please spend some time to thank God for getting me this far and for what He continues to do. It's scary stuff, but honestly what is scarier? God or cancer? =) I would rather fear God than cancer.

~B.