2009 has been a strange year for me. Not that I really expect 2010 to be much better, but cancer really turns up the "didn't see that coming" variety in one's life.
I'm not really all that sure what to put here. I could do a 2009 in review, but frankly that is why I keep archives of my blog, so you can go back and read them yourself. And I mean while I might be interested in going over 12 months of blog entries I am not so sure that you have an interest in what happened last year, most likely in a long big document.
The other option is to look forward to 2010 and tell you some of my resolutions. But honestly I've learned that planning for the future when I have cancer isn't very effective. From day to day I am trying to find my strength. I would love to plan long-term but I've learned that realistically that's not possible.
Maybe this post then should be about today. I've got an oncology appointment this morning that will most likely be a "you look good!" "thanks" "lets start chemo on Monday!" "ok" "see you in 2 weeks!" type thing. Then this evening Lisa and I are going to go out to dinner, and from there head to a new years party, which we will leave early from and go to bed by 11 at least because we want to be somewhat alive tomorrow. And that will be a new year. Lets wait and see what God has for me in 2010. Right now I am going to continue living in 2009.
~B.
Living each day as it is given is really the place we're all supposed be. In a strange sense, God has given you that as a gift. We that are healthy are under the illusion that we can plan for the future. God, alone, holds tomorrow. Knowing that and His goodness, we can rest.
ReplyDeleteThere certainly is an illusion that any of us can plan ahead. When 'our' plans work out we think we are in control. When God has different plans we can either fight, scream, cry, kick and fuss or we can accept God's plan and move ahead. Granted God's plan is often difficult, uncertain (to us), and even confusing. But, we know that God is able to bring us through and even cause us to grow.
ReplyDeleteSo here is to a New Year (by our reckoning). May it be filled with joy and an ever increasing closeness to God and those we love.
Thank you for being so transparent with your journey. It helps me deal with my own pains and builds my trust that God will be there to hold my hand no matter what I go through.
ReplyDeleteSonja Daum