Friday, August 27

Year 2.1

Hey Folks,
Just realized the other day that we are coming up on a full year since I started treatments. (It'll be October, but our first trip to Houston was in September) I realized this because the insurance company has been calling and informing me that my "Short Term" disability is almost up and I'll be qualifying for "Long Term" here in a bit. Long term disability before 30. Heh, sounds like a Facebook group I need to start or something. It would be great if LT disability was actually shorter than ST disability so we could head back to Colorado Springs.

I guess something I am having to learn (one of the things) with all this moving around is to find contentment where you're at. I really am not a big fan of motivational posters, but the whole, "Bloom where you are planted" comes to mind. Not like we're planted here at the moment, but the concept holds.

I think one of the big issues right now in our lives (this includes Lisa) is the sheer lack of "We know what we're doing." In some ways we are kind of torn between two, maybe even three places. A good chunk of you are in Seattle, the place we call home, and yet we "live" in Colorado Springs, and here we are in Houston trying to get better, but we have no idea how long we will be here. I hate to keep pounding that drum but I think it is really starting to wear on Lisa. It's funny to think about how much we rely on "knowing" what our future will be, when in fact none of us really "knows", the illusion is just easier. How to live outside the illusion of a future you can control. Sounds like a self help book.

Lisa took me to my appointment on Wednesday and then went back home. She also had a very difficult time sleeping last night so if you could pray for her that would be excellent. She is my very real support structure and while I enjoy being able to help her when she isn't feeling very well, I am significantly more used to it than she is, and I think she being sick is making her frustrated. She could use some prayer.

Thanks for the continued support. Scan next Thursday and results from that the week following. Here's to a darker scan than the last ones!



  1. "Amen" to a darker scan!

    "Yep" to the illusion of control. You know this better than anyone else I know.

    I will pray for Lisa. We women do like to know where home is.

  2. Gary Brown7:15 AM

    Well spoken, Ben. I'm experiencing somewhat the same feeling as I prospectively travel into Afghanistan tomorrow. Thanks again for your packages while I was in Iraq (and please don't try to send anything my way in AF. I won't be in a position to receive packages this time. Praying for you and Lisa (and thanks for your prayers for Michelle and I).


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