I thank God a lot. For a lot of things. Little things throughout my day and things I remember and people I remember. Quick little prayers in everyday life, like I learned from the bible, Nehemiah to be specific. (1:4 "Then the king said to me, “What are you requesting?” So I prayed to the God of heaven.") You've seen me pray bigger prayers. In my anguish, and in my confusion. I talk to God a lot. I don't know why that has some kind of "crazy" connotation with it. I see Him answer things in small ways, and recently heard him in a very loud way with my eyes.
While I can craft little prayers, silent utterings to God, and loud crying, long sentences imploring Him. I have a problem with deep true, thanks. I am aware that it isn't a singular thing that can "make up" for what God has done for me. No. That's not it. I'm not looking for a way to pay God back for what He has been doing and has done.
I am trying to find a way to say thanks that is special from me. Something only I could do to tell God "thank you." I know I don't HAVE to, my salvation was based on His free gift. I think this "thanks" I am thinking of is probably just as much for me as it is for Him.
I was thinking about "Thank Offerings" in the Bible and Thanks seemed to be tied in was praise... and meat. Then there are the altars and stones erected throughout the old testament to remind Israel of big happenings in their history. Maybe this is what the book I have been writing is for. This book can be a stone of remembrance for me, and also point people to God as well.
And it's not like it won't cost me something... it's going to take a lot of time to put together.
Donating money to something would be a nice gesture... but ultimately I'm not sure it would "cost" me all that much. Or that it would mean much of anything to me. This book is going to be hard, physically and emotionally. Hopefully at the end of it I will have a reminder of God's goodness to me, some lessons I have learned, and something for you, dear readers, to remember me by, and something that people who don't know me can read and see God in as well. This will be my thanks to Him. His story of what He has done with this section of my life.
~B.
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