Never know who's watching you

I was told at the onset of this cancer that I was being forced into the spotlight and I would never really know how many people would be watching, observing, criticizing, praying, and/or learning from what I do, how I react to things, or my general attitude in response to everything that comes my way. Up until this week I really had NO idea what kind of effect I had been having amongst the staff at MDA. I hear from you guys a lot, which is very encouraging, thank you. But the staff at MDA rarely talk about themselves or their reaction to things.

This week I have been flooded with comments from staff, both that I have known a while (who have come to visit me) and staff I have worked with just this week alone. I have been blown away what a little bit of a good attitude, faith in Christ, and an upbeat personality has had effect wise on the doctors, and other staff here in the hospital.

Word seems to have gotten around and I have spent a lot of extra time talking to people that would normally blow in and bw out of the room. The point of this isn't to paint a picture of how great God has made me. (Because I am not great) but to point out that if God is working in your life it is going to be IMPOSSIBLE to know what kind of effect He is going to have in your life amonst those around you who aren't, or maybe even those that ARE, Christians in your life.

Knowing this, knowing that God has given me the ability to have a somewhat positive outlook on what is happening to me, and being able to share that with the staff here has really been a great way to show Jesus in my life to the staff here. Just as you are getting my story through this blog, they have been getting my story through serving me and talking to me here in the hospital.

I learned earlier this week that of all the people the social worker sees that my attitude and outlook put me in the top two percent of patients he sees. Before he left today He wished we had had more time to spend together. The fellow/dr. Who has been in charge of my case isn't a Christian, and in fact he said he doesn't really go in for religious stuff, but that studies have shown that those people with "religion" do much better at these kinds of settings than other people... I think until he met me that was just a study in his mind... He's spent a lot of time talking to me about faith. And then a nurse I have had was blown away by the fact that I could make jokes and laugh despite what was happening. Then a long term nurse friend of mine from downstairs came up to say goodbye as well and she informed me that my outlook and faith have really inspired her and it had been a pleasure to work with me.

Overall it is nice to know God is using me despite the greater issues I am going through, and learning a long time ago that worrying won't add one more day or hour to my lifespan really helped me to cling to God and thus turn the mirror of my life to reflecting Him. This isn't meant to be a pat on the back to say what a great job I am doing, but an encouragement to you to live your life reflecting Jesus Christ and your faith in him. You never know who is keeping an eye on you, or what they might get from your life. Thank you for your support, you are a very large part of helping me reflect God by praying for the strength and energy to get through the days and to be able to reflect what God is doing in my life.

I love Him for showing me this, and for working in my life in auch a way as I am allowed to see some results. Thank YOU for being a part of that. Also, thank you for being so generous. The new Donations page I setup to help with moving and travel and living costs has been flooded with your generosity, and it will help us greatly in the move. You have blessed us mightily and I wish I could bless you all with some kind of personal note or painting, and who knows, maybe I will be able to, but just know that I am deeply touched by your generosity.

Thank you all, and please don't forget how much God loves you and how much other people are watchig you when you know and show that ve to others around you!

~B.
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