Wednesday, June 27

Why come early?

We made such an effort getting to the hospital this morning. Here it is 9:15pm and chemo has only partially started. Oh well. The nurses are very nice here and well informed.

I started out the day in a double room but was moved later to a single room. (praise God!)
*Note from Lisa: double rooms are not as good, partly because we loud visitors have to worry about annoying the other patient*

Had a few visitors already today, spirits seem a bit higher with the news that the chemo is working.

Here we go with round 3.

Keep me in your prayers! Thank you all!


From Lisa: Ben's looking good ;) I was unaware of the fact that chemo often has little to no effect on this type of cancer, so I wasn't surprised to hear that it worked originally. But now I'm even more happy about the news!

As for the additional chemo... I realized that I was pinning my hopes from day to day on the end being near ("a couple of months, and maybe we'll be through with this!"). Now with the info that treatment will extend later into the fall, God is saying "It's okay-- because your hope should be in me and I don't change!" He totally exposed the fact that I was hoping for an end and not completely in Him.

I just read through "A grief observed," the writings of CS Lewis after his wife died (I don't think that's morbid... I just like the man's work...). In any case, he had the same experience, writing that some of his beliefs collapsed like a house of cards. If beliefs don't stand up during crisis they were never real to begin with. CS Lewis actually praises God for exposing this.

Truth is still the same, whether I'm suffering or not. What do I believe is truth? I pray that God will give me wisdom as I re-examine and re-affirm my beliefs, and that I can thank Him for the opportunity :)


  1. Anonymous11:10 AM

    Ben & Lisa,

    Excellent news about the effects of your treatments, Ben. I'm sorry you have to endure several more, but it's encouraging to hear that the drugs are having a good result.

    Rolane and I are tending to grandchildren this week - Cara and her boys were her the last two days while Bryan was on a business trip - and Will & Riva's two munchkins will be with us this weekend as they get away for a couple of days.

    We love you guys - wish we could be there to hang out with you! Our prayers continue daily.

    __Uncle Mick__

  2. All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
    I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
    I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
    I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

    Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
    I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
    I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
    But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

    Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
    I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
    My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
    From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

    For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
    You give me are more precious than all other gains.

    "As the Ruin Falls" -- C S Lewis

    Yes, Lisa, we can all relate.

    Mama J


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