Well, I guess it had to come eventually. Wednesday, 10:00am is my... well I lost count, but I have another CT scan. It's funny how many of these I have had and for the life of me the one that sticks in my head the most is the first one I ever had. It was a pretty horrible experience. But I had never had an IT put in before and I think the guy who was doing it was probably attempting to do it with his eyes shut. It was just a bad time all around I think.
But here we are on the other side of that and I expect the last experience I had, although it was the most costly CT scan I have ever had, will help this one not seem so bad.
It still creates that kind of rift though until you find out the results of the scan. Either I am going to be dealing with cancer, or I will be "fine" and continue doing what I am doing. The difference between them is huge. I think some people mistake what I am feeling as fear. I'm not afraid of either outcome, granted chemo was bad, and I never want to go through it again, but I don't think I'm at the point where I would fall apart if I had it again. It wouldn't be pleasant... but it would require me to do a lot more thinking, and obviously it would be what God had chosen for me to go through right now. So being as God knows what is best for me I am awaiting the results hopefully before the end of the week. I'll keep you all informed.
Thanks for the continued support.
~B.
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