Pill color

Just a second ago I was eating some Key Lime Yogurt when I realized that the color of the yogurt was the same color as the pill I just chocked down minutes before. People tell you to eat your greens but I don't think dexamethasone and key lime yogurt are quite what they had in mind.

On a grand scale of how I am feeling today is not the greatest. I guess pretty much every day after this type of chemo is a kind of downward spiral until I go back into the hospital. But I think perhaps that is not a good way to think about it. God has given me this time at home to do something with and I should be doing that something well, not lamenting the fact that I feel horrible or counting down the number of days until I'm back in the hospital. (Counting the number of days I am out of the hospital... etc, etc)

The hardest part about this "time" of chemo is the nights. I'll sleep for a couple of hours (4 or 5) and then be awake for another couple hours, then fall asleep shortly before Lisa gets up for work. I am thinking that possibly I will just get out of bed next time and maybe tire myself out sooner that way than lying in bed. Also the dreams are really bad. Horribly strange dreams that can only be from the drugs. Really not cool or anything I ever want to repeat, but they stay in my head long after I'm awake again.

You know what I am thankful for though? All of you and your support of Lisa and I as we go through this! I know that even though I am feeling horrible and sometimes scared in the middle of the night that you are praying for me and walking through this with us. As Lisa said I don't know why God has chosen to give this trial to me, or why He has chosen to bless us with so many supporters, but we appreciate it. Honestly it helps me through the nights sometimes.

Thanks again for everything.

~B.