The other day when I got home from the hospital I was depressed. The depression continued to the next day as well. I wasn't thinking about it too hard but I couldn't really put my finger on why I was depressed.
Well, God provides, I got 3 emails which all had clues to my depression in them from separate people and then Lisa came home and told me that being depressed is essentially believing a lie, or lies, about something. So armed with that information I was able to figure out what lies I was believing that were making me depressed.
The first lie was that the past 10 days I had spent in the hospital were wasted and useless. My mom pointed out that I really don't know what God is doing in my life or the lives of others around me. We might never know why I was in the Hospital for 10 days (double the normal time) but God has a purpose and a plan.
The second lie I believed was that I was being an undue burden on Lisa with my sickness. It was pointed out to me by an ex-coworker that marriage isn't always 50/50 and that sometimes the other person (Lisa) is going to have to take care of me. Other times I will have to take care of Lisa. We made vows to this effect when we got married. In sickness or in health we promise to stay by each others side. I am sick right now, and Lisa hasn't left my side. I thank God for her staying-ness and her wisdom.
The depression lifted with the understanding of the lies I was believing and I have been depression free since then. I was going to type all this up the other day but I decided to hold off for a day or so to add some perspective.
Prayer request wise I went to work at NSB yesterday and will be going into TTC for a bit today as well. I tired myself out yesterday with only a couple hours at NSB, but I think that really helped me to sleep fairly well last night. I would like to ask for continued prayer for healing. I had forgotten how horrible that last round of chemo is on my body. My taste buds are still a little funky and I really haven't had any desire to eat meat for the past couple of days. (It tastes horrible)
Thank you all for your continued support. Lisa and I have been so blessed by everything you have to say to us and the prayers you have offered up for us. Thank you.
~B.