Every time I tend to meet people for the first time and we get to talking about ourselves, the questions go something like this, "Are you married? What's your wife's name? Do you have kids?" It's always the last question that shocks me.
Kids? What? No! I'm not old enough to have kids! Then I say, "No! I mean, no. No kids." and the conversation continues. I find myself wondering afterwords (like now) why I have that reaction. I mean people my age have children, in fact my own parents had 2 children, soon to be going on 3, by the time they were my age.
Is that a sign you aren't ready for children? Is that how everyone feels until they do? (Looking at you Dan McC) It's just strange, you'd think my head would be like, "Nope, no kids." and not this kind of reeling, "WHAT? Do I look like I have kids? I'm not old enough for that... am I?"
Maybe I should tend more towards being one of those "pet people" who when people ask if I have children I can say, "Yes, but he's small and green!" Then I spend the next 3 minutes getting myself OUT of that conversation and the other person feeling awkward.
But no. No kids.
~B.
I was 24 when my first child was born. I didn't feel like a father until the following week.
ReplyDeleteI didn't feel "old enough" to have kids until he was a 6 months old.
Actually, I still remember the first time I held him. It felt so awkward, like I really shouldn't be allowed to hold this child, I might drop him or something.
It's something you just have to figure out when you get there, and everyone does, even people a lot less prepared than you. You guys would make great parents.
I heartily agree with Erik--you NEVER feel like you are ready for kids until you have them. (Unless, maybe you are a person who has dealt with years of infertility or miscarriages. Then I'm sure you feel you are ready.) But for those of us who didn't, it is a strange unknown...and that is why I believe God, in His wisdom, gives us 9 months to prepare. A lot goes on in that time to prepares one. Just ask Phil Peterson!
ReplyDeleteErik is also right in saying you'd make GREAT parents! Grandma just stated that this morning. And...I think we'd make okay grandparents too! :) (No pressure whatever, though!)
Amazingly enough I feel totally ready to have kids! And by that I mean that I know this kid is going to be different from any other kid on the planet and a lot of the rules for other kids don't necessarily apply.
ReplyDeleteThat said do I feel nervous? Yes. Do I feel prepared? No, I could definitely be in the Word more and be more prepared that way. I am having more dreams now about the pregnancy and DANG it is really hard to pick a boys name.
That said I understand the question about "Your so young, are you married? Have any kids?" I think people ask it because it is such a large part of a families life that it was bound to come up in the conversation eventually so why not jump to it.
I guess there are two reasons why I don't feel overly shredded with terror. The pastor that counciled us before our wedding said "You will never be financially or physically prepared enough for kids, but they are the best investment that you can make in life." Another thing that was said in Child Birth Prep was no parent is supposed to be perfect the first time out, if they are willing to be patient and teachable they will soon know how to do diapers correctly or burp the baby. It's baby's first time too so they don't have anything to compare it to. :-)
Ben, Lord willing I am looking forward to meet your kid. I know there are difficulties in that but I am curious to see how you would raise up a child in the way he should go. I think they would be a fine person.