Bicludami... whatever

It's "funny" how much of what makes me, me has to do with my tolerance of the chemicals floating around in my body. Take one of them away and suddenly I have to get used to a whole different "me" than before. Externally I am not sure people notice as I try and keep "me" to a targeted range, but inside my head "me" can be all sorts of things.

In this case the drug I have been on has been blocking testosterone in my body and blocking androgen receptors in an effort to starve the cancer of a drug that helps it to grow. (Not too dissimilar from prostate cancer)

What I have been facing the last week since starting these drugs is a serious lack of motivation. "meh" seems to be the phrase of the week. (At least in my head) I have a serious lack of drive to do just about anything. I've been pushing myself to do a little of some things every day (work and art) but honestly too much pushing and I just fall asleep.

Humorously enough we need to come up with a solution for housing before the close of the apartment office on Saturday. What does this mean? It means trying to figure out if we are staying in Houston more than three years or not. At the moment we are looking at something like a ten to fifteen percent rate increase on our rent this year, and more each subsequent year. (We can't sign a 2 year lease agreement) While buying a little condo/townhome near us here would be saving us something like 60k after three years... if we even saved HALF of that if we moved we'd be doing well when it came time to sell.

The question is "tie down" though. We are going to stay in Houston until this cancer is "dealt with". (That could be a maintenance chemo, or the cancer is gone) I kind of doubt it'll happen this year, but next year? The year after? We don't know, and while we would like to be able to get away if given the "all clear" we kind of need to consider the possibility that we'd be here long-term as well. At the end of three or four years of living in Houston I don't want to look back and say, "wow, we should have bought three years ago, we would have saved so much money."

The question isn't weather it's cheaper at this point to own vs rent... it's a matter of how much time we're going to be here. And frankly we don't know... which makes this choice really, really difficult.

Thank you for the continued support and prayers.

~B.
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