Fairwell 2012

At the start of last year I looked at 2012 ahead of me, as best anyone ever can, and with what the doctor's were saying I told God, if there is any way I am going to get through 2012 it'll be only by your grace and mercy. Here I am now, sitting at the cusp of 2013 and God brought be through 2012. I am here now to say that God brought me safe trough 2012 when I had doubts to whether I would live through it or not.

NOW as I look at 2013 ahead of me they are saying things like they don't expect me to make it beyond April. That combined with the loss of another DSRCT friend of mine this past week really rings loudly in my head. I have accepted that I am mostly ready for death, the pain and the agony of this cancer would be great to be over... but at the same time a few things this past week have really awakened me to the desire to live as well.

The first one was talking to my boss this past friday about stepping down and the future of missions. (For those of you that don't know I am part of a small group of people at OC that are trying to take a look at what the future of missions looks like. Mostly we are running off of a model that was put in place 60 years ago that has seen little change since then. With the world being far more connected and people wanting to help, without being "full time" missionaries, we need to change, or we need to move aside for the next generation. But ultimately we hope to bring in the new generation and to connect Christians all over the world in spreading the gospel. Meaning locally and internationally. But those lines are so blurred these days the only real difference in some of these things is distance... and even that can be bridged fairly quickly.) At the end of the discussion I was super-energized and full of ideas. I was ready to quit doing IT and become head-volunteer wrangler right there and then.

The thing this taught me was that there are still a LOT of things I would like to do and/or try, not just in the IT arena, but in getting people involved in missions in some way or another.

The second thing that kind of gave me a new hope for life was in saying goodbye to my brother. I really enjoy spending time with him and doing stuff with him. The times we have spent some time together, doing a project, planning a meal, or just doing something, has really energized me. Creative interactions with my sister are the same for me as well. I feel like each of us Morrell children bring a different aspect of creativity to the table and when we get together to do something it turns out to be amazing. I feel like I have only scratched the surface of what Morrell sibling collaboration might look like. I'd love to have more years to see about doing more things with them.

Thanks again for the support and prayers. Also a big thanks to those of you that sent money Lisa's way this year earmarked "just for her to do something special". Between several of you and a Christmas bonus Lisa is going to be enjoying a girls weekend away that has been fully funded by your generosity. (A friend of mine is flying down from Seattle to hang out with me that weekend, so the timing works well.) Thank you for not only caring about me, but the one that keeps me together as well, my Lisa.

Prayer Requests:

• We both feel pretty "bleh" today. I am assuming it was the two days of driving that wore us out. 
• As we enter a new year we are going to be looking at all sorts of new costs. I think right out of the gate we're looking at paying roughly 4000 dollars. Not sure when that bill will show up, plus the costs of the raised medical coverage.

Thanks for everything. You prayers keep me going.

~B.
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