Wednesday, March 14

Sketical

There have been some fantastic things about working at a missions org, and at the same time there have been some draw-backs that no one really tells you about. The main drawback no one tells you about is that the younger the staff person the more likely the odds that they are going to go off and do something else... so don't get too attached. I guess this even somewhat applies to me in some degree.

Part of that going somewhere else is the phrase, "God has called me/us". I'm not entirely sure I believe it anymore. (Granted I am not God, nor am I those people) Part of me wonders if that phrase really means, "I don't like it here anymore" or "this isn't what I thought it would be" or "this is too hard".

The thing that has me slightly skeptical is that those people were in the place to begin with, and used the same phrase. Do I feel "called" to be in Houston? NO. I do not. (I couldn't figure out how to say that anymore emphatically...) Has God opened up the way for us to be here? Yes, He has, in many ways. If I was proclaimed "tumor free" tomorrow, I would probably be mostly packed before I asked myself the question, "Does God want me to stay in Houston?" And it would be very difficult to decide what was my desire (Colorado) vs what God wants.

But it's the same situation. Here it's difficult, we're twice as far from our family, a good 1600 miles from both of our jobs, and despite God making a way for us here (providing for us in so many ways) we feel like Colorado is where we want to be. But is that us? Or is that God?

Part of my skepticality comes from seeing people in the org who felt like they had a passion and a fire to make something happen and when it didn't happen, or they hit some road-blocks they suddenly decided that God was calling them elsewhere. AND He might have been. There is a little difference between my situation and theirs. Mine involved staying alive.

Other missionaries are only human as well, I feel the phrase "God has called me/us" is a little overused, and maybe even untrue sometimes? Maybe God is calling you to the mission field, but he hasn't specified. Maybe you like somewhere tropical so you end up somewhere tropical. Maybe you like Asian culture so you end up in Asia. Does that mean you couldn't work in Spain? Or in Africa? I think so. If you have a heart for people like Jesus had for people then it really doesn't matter where you are.

Keep in mind this blog is just my opinions and thoughts as I work through things. They might be based in something or be found-less. Take it for the processing it is.


~B.
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