Zero Time

I was given a seventeen percent chance to live five years in 2007. This is my first "Zero Time" or "Negative Time" birthday. 30+1. Not only am I celebrating a further distance from the time they gave me to live, I am celebrating the news I got yesterday.

I imagine if someone was to ask me if I was surprised by the results yesterday I think I would say yes. Though I didn't consider them outside the realm of possibility to be sure. There have been times in the past where I went in feeling pretty good and hopeful just to have all that crushed. (Several times in fact...) So while we ask God for something like tumor death, it doesn't always happen and so we have to go into see the doctor a little guarded. Hopeful, but trying to find hope in God in that no matter WHAT the outcome of the scan or appointment that our hope rests firmly in God. (All else will disappoint.)

This time with all the prayers for healing in our life recently we had an expectation that we were going to see something different. (For me, honestly, seeing the tumor's grow would have been a sign to me that my death from this was assured and to get things in order...) Seeing the dramatic results though of tumor shrinkage was in many ways God reaching out to me and saying, "See, no one knows the time of their death but me. The trust they have in medical technology is nothing compared to what I can do."

Either way I learn something about God and myself. My faith grows.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. 

~B.
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