Yesterday was possibly one of the most stressful days I can imagine having. Let me try and help you understand some of the stress: First of all, start off with a doctor's visit. Only you don't know what he is going to say, but it IS going to be something about your mortality. So the words coming out of his mouth could be anything from "Wow, this is really not good..." to "I've seen worse." But then keep in mind he's a specialist in a kind of cancer that twelve people a year are diagnosed with. Got all that, stressful. THEN add two to three hours of wait time on top of that, AFTER you appointment time. It makes for a long day that you just want to be over. I pretty much just wanted to hear what he had to say so I could STOP hearing him say it.
However, despite the kind of poor bed-side manner of this doctor in the past I really think all your prayers worked to great effect because he was downright nice. The regime that I am going to be going on for the next few months isn't going to be friendly on my mental clarity, but the hope is that it'll hold the cancer over until they get another trial drug ready which is targeted directly at the cousin cancer of what I have and they hope will have the same effect as it did in lab-rats. (Stopping the production of tumors)
The side effects of this are confusion and hallucinations. I don't know how drastic it'll be, but I don't relish the idea of confusion OR hallucinations. I know what my mind can cook up and it's not always friendly. I would appreciate prayers for the side effects.
I could also use your help in trying to figure out what to do with three and half days in the hospital. Reading is going to be pretty out because of the mental clarity thing. They have TV, but it seems like the only good TV is on at night. The internet they have there is spotty and I am not sure I want to bring my laptop and have it be subject to disappearing. I would love any suggestions for things to do! Especially that doesn't require great amounts of thinking.
~B.