Thursday, August 23

The Return

Our time of extended "vacation" (it's hasn't really been a vacation at all...) from Houston and cancer treatments is coming to a close. We head back on Saturday and we should probably be home on Sunday... unless we get super ambitious and actually drive the 16 hours from Colorado to Houston in one drive.

First of all I don't think I updated you all on our living situation. Truth is... we still don't know. We chose to wait an extra month. (which means if we are looking to move that we are looking at the first part of November to do that) We can sign a new lease at pretty much any point, so we decided to wait until we hear on September 5th what is going on with the tumors in my body. I'll be updating that afternoon with what the doctor says so you can check back here anytime after the evening of September 5th for an update on the medical front.

Health wise, I think perhaps with this trip I bit off a LOT more than I could chew. I expected my body to get progressively better the further from chemo I got. What actually happened was that I was able to have a burst of excitement and energy the first few weeks here in Colorado, and the break I thought I was going to have in Seattle didn't happen, so when we came back to Colorado I was done... I however didn't really know that and tried to maintain what I had been doing before.

That said, I am completely worn out. At this point I feel like I am limping towards the finish line and I just want it to be over. A friend of mine called me yesterday out of the blue and we talked about life and cancer for a while (she's fighting it as well) and I told her that when I get back to Houston I pretty much plan on not doing anything outside of the apartment for a good solid week. (You can feel free to come to us... I'm probably not going anywhere...) I'm going to rest, play video games, read books, write stories, work on a few artistic endeavors, bake, cook and generally "stay-cate" like crazy.

I think, in the future, should I get another break like this one, I will try and do the opposite of what I did this time around. I'll start out at under ten hours a week, and possibly build up from there. Those of you that are able to work 40 plus hours a week, two things: I really envy you and I never realized how much energy that takes. After this little experiment I am not entirely sure I'll be able to do 40 hours a week ever again. I thought I would be in a very different place three and a half months out from chemo, and I'm not there, which makes me wonder if I will ever be "there" again. I love what I do, and I love being able to do it, but I don't think I can realistically sustain very many hours anymore.

The fight goes on though and we'll see what God provides for us. Thanks for all the love and support!

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